Showing at the newly renamed Lower Marsh Arts Club (formerly The Glitch), Arden Fitzroy presents a solo show inspired by the film Conclave. Over 60 minutes, we follow Cardinal Cvntvs, fictional Dean of the College of Cardinals, as he navigates theology and the murky world of Vatican politics.

The Pope is dead, and the Conclave, a spiritual gathering in which the Cardinals are locked inside the Vatican, must elect his successor. Cvntvs is responsible for organising the conclave, but he is also acutely aware of his own power. He uses lists of grievous sins against the three papal front-runners to explain why each is unsuitable while making an impassioned case for why he should hold the position himself. The hypocrisy is delicious: Cvntvs has also broken all three of his vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.

The set is simple: a small altar with a cross. As the audience arrives, Cvntvs is already praying at it, dressed in a red velvet jacket that evokes the traditional Cardinals robes.

Catholic history is woven in with humour. The posthumous trial of Pope Formosus, whose troubled reign led to the infamous Cadaver Synod, provides one particularly entertaining example. The story is peppered with puns, film references, the Ninja Turtle game, and a trip to Vegas, creating plenty of opportunities for laughs.

This is, however, an extremely wordy play, around 8,000 words were mentioned, and cramming that much dialogue into an hour requires considerable speed. As a result, some details and punchlines were lost. The venue’s acoustics were also unkind to Fitzroy, with louder moments becoming noticeably echoey.

Fitzroy is clearly a creative writer, though they appeared nervous in performance. CVNTCLAVE contains clever humour, but for such a risqué title, it could lean further into its camp and viciousness. The premise offers abundant opportunities for comedy, bitchiness and theatrical excess as Cvntvs brings down his rivals, and these possibilities aren’t always fully realised.

At its heart, CVNTCLAVE is an intriguing exploration of the gap between the Catholic Church’s ideals and the very human impulses beneath the robes. Its final call for acceptance and tolerance feels timely.

Overall, CVNTCLAVE holds the promise of a fantastic show. With a tighter script, clearer delivery, and more confident embracing of its camp and wickedness, it could become something truly compelling.

Reviewed by Nina Gardner

Three Stars.

Cvntclave is showing at Lower Marsh Arts Club until 21^st September 2026

For tickets and further details see link below

https://www.tickettailor.com/events/vaultcreativearts/2299234

Cast and Creatives

Written, produced and performed by Arden Fitzroy (they/them)
Dramaturgy: Juliano Zaffino and Soho Writers’ Lab
Poster image: Azeem Mustafa
Marketing Consultancy: Cup of Ambition
PR: Storytelling PR

Director: Stephanie Abadom Stevens
Stage manager/lighting & sound designer/technician: Silvia Verzaro