At this point in the festive calendar, the theatre offers a reliable refuge from the cold and the commercial crush. There are pantomimes by the dozen, yet more versions of A Christmas Carol, and adaptations of children’s books jostling for attention. Adding itself to the seasonal mix is Little Miss Christmas at Southwark Playhouse, a drag-inflected cabaret that promises yuletide sparkle with a sting in the tail.

The evening is hosted by Patti Boo Rae, who bills herself as “the rootinest, tootinest cowgirl east of the Atlantic; the UK’s premier songstress; the Annie Oakley of drag”. Boo Rae is probably the alter ego of Coggin Galbreath who wrote the show, which is part cabaret, part theatrical experience event, never quite settling comfortably into either.

The premise riffs on the absurdities of American beauty pageants. Boo Rae has won the Little Miss Christmas crown four years in a row and is determined to triumph again, regardless of ethics, taste or plausibility. The competition unfolds across the familiar categories – Interview, Swimsuit, Evening Wear and Talent – each requiring a swift costume change and providing the excuse for a series of video interludes while Boo Rae disappears backstage.

There’s a Tupperware promotional video starring Anita Bryant which lands with layered irony, given Bryant’s later career as a notorious anti-gay rights campaigner and former pageant queen herself. Another of the videos is a sketch which those of us of a certain age will recognise as being based on Lucille Ball’s Vitameatavegimin skit on her television show from back in 1952! As both Ball and Boo Rae have bright red hair, I’m presuming this is a loving homage.

Back on stage, Boo Rae re-emerges in ever more elaborate guises, singing and lip-synching to seasonal numbers, with snippets of film dialogue – Home Alone among them – dropped in for easy laughs. There is also a guest “rival” contestant: on this occasion, Dwayne, a Filipino dancer who’s athletic twerking and splits sees him prancing around the space trying to upstage Boo Rae in the talent part of the contest.

When you take your seat, there’s a piece of paper and a small pencil waiting for you. This is for you to vote for the winner of the pageant’s candy cane crown but it’s actually not worth bothering as the votes are ignored for Boo Rae to win – who expected that?

There is inevitably audience participation and a willing volunteer (in this case the excellent perfectly seasonally named Nick) is recruited for a Santa-themed interlude, culminating in a striptease (Boo Rae’s “talent”) to “You Can Leave Your Hat On” that confirms this is emphatically not family fare.

Patti Boo Rae has a decent voice and an easy, down-home rapport with the crowd. Yet Little Miss Christmas ultimately struggles with its own identity. As satire, it gestures towards the rich comic potential of beauty pageants without quite sharpening the knife; as cabaret, it’s a little run-of-the-mill. The result is a show that sparkles intermittently but never fully commits, leaving the tinsel a little tangled.

Reviewed by Alan Fitter.

Two Stars

https://southwarkplayhouse.co.uk/productions/little-miss-christmas/